My grandma tells me that she would have gone to law school, if it had been an option for her. She went to the free city college instead and became a secretary and excellent typist (if you want to see my grandma laugh until she cries, play her this video over and over).

Everyone has favorite stories, and I think about my grandma’s. The year before kindergarten, she would fold her picture books under her arm and walk to the neighborhood school with the older kids; that’s how excited she was to be a student.

Another one: My family took baby-me to Washington D.C. and when we got to the hotel, they told us that, despite the reservation, all the cribs were taken. My parents tried to work it out but there was an impasse at the check-in counter until my grandma leaned in and told the hotelier, “Well, I guess you’ll have to go out and buy her a crib.” After that, they were able to find something for me.

When I want to advocate for something I channel my dad, who once just sat in a person’s office and frowned at him until he started taking the action my dad was looking for, but I know that in fact he channels his mother’s frown. My grandma is in general a wonderfully pleasant person, but she knows how to argue on her family’s behalf. It’s obvious she could have been a great lawyer.

The fact that she didn’t have that opportunity didn’t ruin my grandma’s life - she is awesome anyway - but it means that people missed out on the chance to be represented by her.

A few weeks ago, a colleague came up to me and said, “So, you really don’t like sexism, huh?” He asked me if I was a classical music fan, and when I said no he still told me the story of Robert Schumann, a 19th-century composer who married another composer named Clara. He told her to stop composing once they married, but according to my colleague some of Robert’s best work included pieces of Clara’s compositions. “Just think of the beautiful music we will never get to hear,” he told me.

I care about educational equity out of compassion for the students who are not getting the experiences and chances at success they deserve, but also out of selfishness. When we don’t universally develop critical thinking in children, when we avoid conceptual understanding in favor of quick algorithms, when we stomp out creativity in favor of docility, when we rely on outdated textbooks and overstuffed classrooms and undersupported teachers, we rob ourselves. We lose a doctor who could innovate treatment, an entrepreneur who fills a hole we lack the vision to see, the poet who might give us just the shift in view we were waiting for.

- Sady Doyle

As a teacher, my (traditionally female) profession often seems to demand selflessness, and I have also unreasonably expected it of myself. This take-down is so on target. I would also add that during my most ‘selfless’ summer, my “unhealthy and unhappy life” made me less able to best serve the kids I was trying to be selfless for.

I have never had a problem advocating for the needs of others. During that sadly selfless summer, my dad told me that if I would stand up for someone in my position, then I need to stand up for myself. I have used that idea to guide me toward self-advocacy, but I know it’s ridiculous that I need to think that way at all. Shouldn’t I automatically know that I deserve to be treated right, by others and by myself? This time, Patriarchy has made strange bedfellows with the do-gooder world (in cahoots more often than you would think) to teach me that my needs don’t matter. Thanks buddies!

I’ll give you three guesses for the context of this quote.

1. Nope, it’s not Tucker Max trying to express classy interests.
2. Good try, but it is in fact not a creepy old man on the Home Shopping Network.
3. What’s that you say? A New York Times special section on children’s books? You got it! Such a logical guess, as this is a totally appropriate use of space in a literally four-sentence review of a book connecting bicycles with women’s rights. Thank you so much Patriarchy - I’m not sure what I would do if I could read about a book intended for fifth-grade girls without being reminded how diverting lady-ogling can be! If it weren’t for you reminding me that women on bicycles serve to be attractive, I might have to actually think about the impressive and inspirational actions of the women profiled in the book!

(Disturbing review notwithstanding, WHEELS OF CHANGE: How Women Rode the Bicycle to Freedom (With a Few Flat Tires Along the Way) does look like an awesome read.)

The other day, an awesome ten-year-old girl (she’s a self-trained unicyclist) told me that she doesn’t socialize much with the other girls in her class, because they are too into drama. I was sad to hear this because throughout my life, my friendships with girls and women have been sustaining, and by-and-large drama free (including the one with my childhood bestie, who has unicycled across the Golden Gate Bridge). There is this perpetual myth going around that if a girl is cool enough, she won’t get along with other girls. This is a patriarchy-induced delusion - that the dudes are truly the cool ones out there, and that cool ladies are anomalies who can’t mix with their own kind.

A few weeks ago was International Women’s Day/Feminist Coming Out Day. The day manifested for me as a multi-generational feminist love-fest on Facebook. We complimented each other’s organizing, posted on our love for feminism, helped older friends create explicitly feminist profile pictures, and in general passed around a lot of support and pride. Even though this was all over the internet, I was surprised by how refreshing the whole thing felt. Feminist women tend to get portrayed as negative humorless harpies, but my relationships with other feminists tend to bring me a whole lot of joy. As I feel overwhelmed with all there is to fight in the larger world, I am grateful for the wonderful women (and men!) I have found to fight alongside me.

I am so happy that the unicyclist knows how to be happy on her own, but I trust that she will also find some other awesome girls to ride with.