Notes From the Patriarchy

The other day, an awesome ten-year-old girl (she’s a self-trained unicyclist) told me that she doesn’t socialize much with the other girls in her class, because they are too into drama. I was sad to hear this because throughout my life, my friendships with girls and women have been sustaining, and by-and-large drama free (including the one with my childhood bestie, who has unicycled across the Golden Gate Bridge). There is this perpetual myth going around that if a girl is cool enough, she won’t get along with other girls. This is a patriarchy-induced delusion - that the dudes are truly the cool ones out there, and that cool ladies are anomalies who can’t mix with their own kind.

A few weeks ago was International Women’s Day/Feminist Coming Out Day. The day manifested for me as a multi-generational feminist love-fest on Facebook. We complimented each other’s organizing, posted on our love for feminism, helped older friends create explicitly feminist profile pictures, and in general passed around a lot of support and pride. Even though this was all over the internet, I was surprised by how refreshing the whole thing felt. Feminist women tend to get portrayed as negative humorless harpies, but my relationships with other feminists tend to bring me a whole lot of joy. As I feel overwhelmed with all there is to fight in the larger world, I am grateful for the wonderful women (and men!) I have found to fight alongside me.

I am so happy that the unicyclist knows how to be happy on her own, but I trust that she will also find some other awesome girls to ride with.